Tuesday, July 26, 2011

A Death

My heart broke a little to learn of this shockingly talented and terribly sad child's death. I can't say I was particularly surprised. She seems to have been trying to erase herself for the longest time in between moments when she found a reason to stick around, mostly for her art, for that incredible toe-curling voice that could take a song and turn it inside out. She was raw, as though she had no skin.

The French have a phrase for this (of course they do, who better to describe malaise?): ne pas ĂȘtre bien dans sa peau. I first encountered it in my HS French class reading Camus or a North African author whom I have forgotten in a ridiculous bout of shallow callowness.

"Je ne suis pas bien dans ma peau."

I can just hear her saying that. "My skin hurts."  I think Joplin had the same pain, and Hendrix. Morrison as well. And Cobain. All dead at 27. Such a fucking waste.

Rest in peace little girl. I am choosing to imagine you and Pearl with your arms thrown around each other, open-throated and comfortable in your skin.






5 comments:

Ben said...

Whatever. She got exactly what she wanted. We should all be so lucky.

Opti said...

How oddly unkind of you, Ben.

Ben said...

Hardly. I have little sympathy for a drug addict who had every opportunity, ability, and resource to improve herself who refused to do so despite lots and lots of people pushing her to do precisely that. Like I said, she got exactly what she wanted. That's more than most people can say. I feel bad for the people who cared about her, which she was clearly not one of.

James said...

I hear ya, Ben. This is a beautifully written little post, Aine, I like it a lot.

Opti said...

Haha, James! You outted me! But thank you, you've been an incredibly supportive reader.